Wednesday, September 12, 2012

How To Love Unconditionally?


The first step in being fully loving is that you must fully love your Self. And this you cannot do so long as you believe that you were born in sin, and are basically evil. Or you are a by-product of some nasty reincarnation, which is just as questionable.

If you believe that humans are by nature non-trustworthy and evil, you will create a society that supports that view, then enact laws, approve rules, adopt regulations, and impose restraints that are justified by it. Similarly, if you believe that humans are by nature trustworthy and good, you will create an entirely different kind of society, in which laws, rules, regulations, and restraints are rarely required. The first society will be freedom limiting, the second, freedom giving.

Nature is fully loving because it is fully free. To be fully free is to be fully joyful, because full freedom creates the space for every joyful experience. Freedom is the basic nature of existence. It is also the basic nature of the human experience. The degree to which you are not fully free is the degree to which you are not fully joyful and that is the degree to which you are not fully loving.

To be totally loving means to be fully free.

We should allow everyone to be able to do anything they want.
That is how Nature loves. Nature allows everyone to do anything they want.
It is normal for society to punish. It is abnormal for society to simply allow a consequence to assert itself to reveal itself. However, punishments are someone else's decision that one has done wrong where consequences are one's own experience that something does not work. That is, it did not produce an intended result.

In other words, we could not learn quickly from punishments, because we see them as something that someone else is doing to us. We learn more readily from consequences, because we see them as something that we are doing to ourselves. Actually, the biggest punishment that one has devised is the withholding of one's love. You have shown your offspring that if they behave in a certain way, you will withhold your love. It is by the granting and the withholding of your love that you have sought to regulate and modify, to control and to create, your children's behaviors.

This is something that Nature would never do.

True love never withdraws itself. And that is what loving fully means.

I am love. One does not have to practice what one is, one simply is.
I am the love that knows no condition, nor limitation of any kind.
I am totally loving, and to be totally loving means to be willing to give every mature sentient being total freedom to be, do, and have that which they wish.

Even if you know it will be bad for them?  It is not for you to decide that for them.

Not even for our children?  If they are mature beings, no. If they are grown children, no. And if they are not yet mature, the fastest way to lead them to their own maturity is to allow them the freedom to make as many choices as possible as early as practical.

This is what love does. Love lets go. That which you call need, and which you often confuse with love, does the opposite. Need holds on. This is the way you can tell the difference between love and need. Love lets go, need holds on.

A person could not love himself or herself totally when he or she restrict his or her being, when he or she grant his or her being less than total freedom to choose, in any matter.

Yet remember that choices are not restrictions. So do not call the choices you have made restrictions. Simply lovingly provide for your offspring, and all your loved ones, all the information that you feel you may have, to help them make good choices - "good" being defined here as those choices most likely to produce a particular desired result, as well as what you know to be their largest desired result: a fulfilled and content life.

Share what you know about that. Offer what you have come to understand and witness. Yet do not seek to impose your ideas, your rules, your choices upon another and do not withhold your love should another make choices you would not make. Indeed, if you believe their choices to have been poor ones, that is precisely the time to show your love.

That is compassion, and there is no higher or more appropriate expression.

What else does it mean to be totally loving?

It means to be fully present, in every single moment. To be fully aware. To be fully open, honest, transparent. It means to be fully willing, to express the love that is in your being in your nature. To be fully loving means to be fully naked, without hidden agenda or hidden motive, without hidden anything.

So it is possible for human beings, for regular people like me, to experience such love? This is something of which we are all capable?

It is more than that of which you are capable. It is that which you are. This is the nature of who you truly are. Because the most difficult thing you can do would be to deny that. And you are doing this difficult thing every day. That is why for some people, life feels so difficult. Yet when a person do the easy thing, when he or she decide to come from, to be, Who They Really Are - which is pure love, unlimited and unconditioned - then his or her life becomes easy again. All the turmoil disappears, all the struggle goes away.

This peace may be achieved in any given moment. The way to it may be found by asking a simple question:

What would love do now?

This is a marvelous question, because you will always know the answer. It is like magic. It is cleansing, like a soap. It takes the worry out of being close. It washes away all doubt, all fear. It bathes the mind with the wisdom of the soul.

It is true. When you ask this question, you will know instantly what to do. In any circumstance, under any condition, you will know. You will be given the answer. You are the answer, and asking the question brings forth that part of you. Do not second-guess this answer when it instantly comes to you. When you second-guess is when you fool yourself - and can make a fool of yourself. Go into the heart of love, and come from that place in all your choices and decisions, and you will find peace that lasts.

Nature loves without reservation and we are part of  this nature. How wonderful it would be to experience and make this connection? Perhaps, it's the time to re-exam and to re-connect to this love that set us free.





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